The Wrong Trousers

THE journey of a thousand miles, said ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (cheers Google), begins with one step.

Not sure he foresaw that step taking place at a bus step next to a petrol station in a Gloucester suburb, particularly by someone sweltering in a hoodie that was never going to fit into his overstretched bags and wearing the wrong trousers due to a bit of a packing cock-up.

Starting point

But that’s how my next adventure, of considerably more than a thousand miles, started in rising temperatures completely unsuited to wearing or carrying the hoodie and a fleece-lined jacket.

Both will have a part to play – even if only as a handy pillow when camping – in the seven months ahead as we meander our way around South America.

As will the unintended jeans.

A few days ago, they had been confined to a bag in a rapidly filling storage unit before being rescued from their fate – at least temporarily – when my best jeans had been set aside to travel in and the spare pair pulled from the storage pile had proved to be far too big after my weight loss and spent half their time soaking up puddles.

Thought they had been part of the last trip to the storage unit – right up until getting changed before heading off to catch the 444 National Express to Heathrow and realising they were the ones which had been neatly packed away and the intended pair were starting their hibernation alongside most of my earthly possessions in that storage unit.

Fully armed for an 11-hour flight

But if that’s the biggest packing nightmare of this whole trip, so be it – being very careful on that, given the strain being shown by my shoulder bag until a trip to a Quito market to get a lightweight extra bag to ease some of the congestion (a life changer in Africa) and a total repack before climbing on board the truck will do,

These jeans will do. They are smart enough (if you don’t look at the frayed bits at the bottom that have been constantly trod on), comfortable enough and not too big to be totally out of sync with my current waist size.

There are shorts aplenty crammed in the rucksack, just might be worth holding off on them until some of the bruises decorating my legs in a lovely range of colours have had time to fade.

No idea how most of them got there and, bar one right on my left knee, they don’t even hurt if you touch them, but the legacy of several days clearing and cleaning my flat and transporting its contents to storage.

Sliding the final wardrobe through the door and into almost the ideal remaining space was like the finale to the perfect game of Tetris, rewriting the top score and crossing off the final major item on my to-do list before the off.

Which is not far off. This is being written in a rather swish lounge, courtesy of my bank, which may help the jeans fit a bit more snugly and the boarding gate is due to appear in the next few minutes. For what appears to be one of the last two flights out of Heathrow this evening.

The to-do list is all but empty, one late issue about an onward travel document at the airport sorted – will elaborate on that and a possible amendment to the route in later posts – and it is time for the off.

Next stop Quito. Well Bogota, for a few hours, but you get my drift.

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Best Laid Plans…

IT has been a week of anniversaries

Purely by coincidence, the last few days have been full of Facebook memories revolving around travel – to such an extent, it has become something of a tradition to wish a friend happy birthday specifically from some other part of the world (it will be a few weeks late this year, but we’ll get there…).

Seven years ago, flew home from New York (having had far too little sleep and with a slightly sore head after a night that ended with an Aussie in Greenwich Village probably closer to dawn than was wise) – the first flight of the trip having headed there from London and followed that with a road trip around the eastern US.

Five years ago spent this week sweltering in Charleston at a wedding (while sweating out the previous night’s rehearsal dinner).

And four years ago, climbed off a big yellow truck for the final time as 10 months on the road in Africa came to an end in Cairo.

It was an odd sensation adjusting back to normal life and as the minor frustrations and occasional deprivations of living on and around an overland truck fade, what you remember is the countless good times and enjoyable aspects of that life.

To such an extent you start to think about doing it again – and one month from today, will climb back on another big yellow truck in Quito and take up residence for seven months in a large circle around South America.

So one month out, what state are the preparations in?

To be honest, it’s all a bit of a concern – everything is pretty much on schedule.

Guaranteed that, having written that sentence, something is about to go horribly wrong but as it stands, things are on track. Even having spent this afternoon ignoring some of today’s intended list in favour of watching rugby and cricket.

Have been able to have a couple of weekends largely ignoring the to-do list, helped by using the days off work which have needed taking before my last day in the office.

Most of this lot needs packing – the sofa faces a less dignified fate. And yes, that is a bobble hat

What does remain on that list for the next few weeks is backloaded from then – the first few days finishing off compiling and packing up anything needed for the following seven months, the remaining time largely devoted to moving out of my flat and putting my life into storage.

That to-do list is broken down with jobs allocated for pretty much every day (with little spare time built in for watching cricket, rugby or the remaining episodes of Stranger Things – need to squeeze that one in before the list reaches ‘Cancel Netflix).

There’s a few appointments to go – osteopath, travel clinic for malaria tablets (not as critical as Africa, but better safe than sorry given my ability to be bitten by the lone small, buzzy thing within miles) and one last jab – a couple of leaving dos and even a gym schedule pencilled in.

As well as being better prepared for this trip due to knowledge after Africa, will arrive in Quito in better physical shape. The weight loss has hit – and seemingly levelled out at – seven and a half stone and probably fitter than… well, let’s just say it is a long time.

Could be fitter and the physical demands of the Inca Trail loom large, but the balance between excitement and fear has tipped slightly towards the former. Most of the time.

The pesky calf muscle which derailed a plan to get running and cut down the miles walking in preparation seems to have mended, with just the odd twinge now the ban on me hitting the treadmill is over.

With running limited, walking has ramped up – literally on the treadmill, gradually increasing the incline over 20 minutes – with a few longer strolls proving the lengthy times needed are achievable. Even ignoring lifts in favour of the stairs.

The gradients and altitude of the Andes are harder to replicate.

So physically things are, pretty much, ready to go and the schedule for moving out in place, what concerns remain? The things which, bar having left enough time to move out and clean my flat, keep me awake.

This lot is going in those bags off to the right. Or I’m wearing it

First is totally out of my control and boils down to which country’s economy can implode the most in the next couple of weeks. And that’s anyone’s guess.

The go-to currency for this trip is US dollars, both in the local payment which will form the group kitty to pay for our everyday expenses (you know, the important stuff like food) and spending money for changing at borders or, in the case of starting point Ecuador, the actual currency.

It all adds up to a pretty decent-sized lump sum to be sorted out before the off, which makes it the perfect time for the pound to plummet against the dollar.

Thankfully, not as much as against the euro and – good news time – there’s been sign of life today and the prospect of an improved rate for buying bulk. It’s a question of which country does something to damage its currency first and how long my nerve holds.

All this adds up to another reason to avoid spending any more money on kit, however strong the temptation.

Have spent several years advising people not to over pack, but one look at the piles of stuff waiting to be crammed into my rucksack and shoulder bag suggests that advice has not necessarily been taken on board.

Yesterday’s attempt to organise it better has eased my mind a bit, but it is going to take some cramming in.

Whatever the weather, suggest going to be wearing or carrying a hoodie or a new waterproof jacket – complete with a fleece lining – on the trip from Gloucester to Quito (via Heathrow and Bogota).

It could get pretty sweaty.

But if that’s what is keeping me awake, then that’s fine – certainly beats any work anxiety which is starting to fade away as we enter my final couple of weeks in the office.

Just two more papers to see off, followed by two weeks working through that to-do list.

It’s all getting mighty real.

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Cien Dias

FIVE years ago, wrote a post 100 days from heading out to Gibraltar for the Trans Africa journey.

And having decided to do the same before heading to South America, first decision was when to actually write it – 100 days from flying out to Quito or from the start of the trip itself?

The decision to go with the latter was partly down to it being a bit neater, a landmark shared by the entire group who will make their own way out to the Ecuadorian capital, and partly due to the 100 days falling on a Sunday.

Bit easier to find the time to write on a Sunday afternoon than a Wednesday night after the delights of getting a paper out and hitting the gym (the ideal post-deadline release of stress). At least that’s the theory.

So where are the preparations as the countdown hits the landmark?

Five years ago, the 100 Days post (spent ages delaying writing by coming up with a different title to distinguish them – while sat watching sport, that may have been a bigger delay) mentioned a feeling of being in limbo.

Not only is the long list of things to do still expanding before real dents are made in it…. but normal life has been skewed slightly.

100 Days, July 2014

There are shades of that this time round again. It’s just been flipped slightly.

Yes, there is slightly a sense of limbo, of life being skewed, waiting for and dominated by what lies ahead. But there’s not the feeling of the unknown this time around.

Not that South America is in any way familiar. Overlanding is, but journeying around this part of the world poses a lot of different challenges to what awaited us in Africa.

But there are two major differences this time round.

First, have a lot of the kit or at least a pretty good idea of what is needed and, secondly, planning is a lot easier with a bit of experience.

Especially if drawing up lengthy (frequently updated) to-do lists is pretty much the first thing you did after booking.

Which is pretty much the state of where we are at this landmark in preparations – the lists are drawn, plans are made and… well, sort of waiting to crack on with it.

Much of the preparations have been split into four distinct sections – three of them weeks off spaced out before leaving work at the end of August, followed by the two weeks between then and heading out of the country, the second half of which will be largely given over to moving out of my flat and putting stuff into storage.

There’s a few things to do and arrangements to be made in between those chunks of time, but at the moment it is all a bit quiet. All on schedule.

Which is all a bit worrying.

The growing pile of kit

Much of the major kit is bought or surviving from Africa, a new camera the largest new addition and – having taken a step up from the simple options which have served me well (at least before breaking) in the past – really need to work out how it works. At least the simple bits.

There is a load of kit sat on the old TV unit in the corner of my front room (makes a difference from dust) which is having the odd bits added every time it catches my eye. More will be added as the battle between want and need plays out.

And then there’s the clothes list.

There is a danger working and living so close to a couple of outdoor clothing and activity shops which have developed a magnetic draw.

Been trying to put off going too deep into the clothes buying preparations which are largely pencilled in for a week off next month, but did weaken with a few bargains online which have shown up one major issue.

Am getting smaller.

Travelling down the west coast of Africa, managed to lose four inches off my waist, forcing a hasty shopping trip in Cape Town to find trousers that stayed up.

Having shed seven stone – with a more conscious effort this time round, having put it all and more back on since the African overlanding weight loss programme – and can fit comfortably into those Cape Town trousers.

With the plan to keep the weight loss and fitness regime going – right calf, hopefully, allowing – until the off, there needs to be a certain touch of the last minute about clothes shopping so that it actually fits.

There are also two big differences to Africa which need to be taken into account ahead of finalising the kit and packing – climate and the fact it has to all come on a flight with me.

There was wet weather (Morocco, talking about you) and cold spells in Africa, but not some of the extremes which need to be considered in South America – the word minus does crop up at times.

So that adds a few layers to my clothing choices which all have to come with me.

Hitching a ride – no cheating with kit on the truck this time around

Five years ago, was able to drop off a few of the larger items – sleeping bag, airbed and mosquito tent mainly – with Oasis and they headed out on the truck before making the return journey with assorted other items picked up along the way.

That is not an option this time around. The mosquito tent is a non starter, but the sleeping bag, airbed and everything else has to squeeze into my rucksack and shoulder bag. Already working out what will be worn on the flight to save room (new walking boots which need breaking in for starters).

It also means a new section on the to-buy list – Quito.

One of the great realisations from Africa – which should not really come as any surprise if you think about it – is you can buy most of this stuff on the road. So a weekend in Quito has a few items inked on to the shopping list, most notably a rug. And toilet rolls.

There’s plenty of time before then – nearly 100 days, if anyone has not been paying attention – and preparations will gradually ramp up, especially come that July week off.

Until then, there’s Inca Trail videos to be watched (with equal parts excitement and dread), walking boots to be broken in (once clearance has been given to push that pesky calf muscle ) and outdoor travel shops to be avoided.

And more lists to be updated.

  • Before my fellow pedants point out what is missing from the title of this entry, it is 100 days to Spanish. Bit longer than that to Portuguese (Cem Dias), Dutch (Honderd Dagan) and a bit of French (Cent Jours). Worryingly, had to look up all but one of them – going to be a long seven months.
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What Is Overlanding?

Day four of the blog post a day in May and time to finally get round to writing some pieces on travel or, more specifically, overlanding.

HAVE spent more than a year of my life on overland group trips and spend more time explaining the manner of the trips than the places we have been.

That four days on a train, digging a truck out of mud or spending the nights wild camping in the wilds of Africa is as much a part of the trip as big cities, tourist trail trips or ticking off bucket list attractions.

Or that the strangers you met on the first day (almost certainly far too early) will become your family, your friends, your gang – the ones who are there to share the highs and carry you through the tough moments.

Over a few upcoming posts, hope to take you through the different aspects of overland travel and the preparations for my next bout of riding around in a big yellow truck in South America (this website was, after all, set up as a travel blog).

But let’s start with an overview – what exactly is overlanding?

Have travelled with, after a quick count, 40-odd people over the course of two long trips and pretty sure they would all give you a different answer. We all had slightly different trips, different highlights, different tales to tell, each of us playing a slightly different part to make up the (largely) harmonious whole.

The simple take is that the journey is as important as the destination.

Don’t get me wrong, have been to some amazing places, cities and sights which should be on anyone’s must-see list, but it is those things you only see and moments you only share with your fellow passengers by journeying through the places, hidden gems or, let’s be honest, problems that are far too easily overlooked or over flown.

Been to New York a fair few times but only one of the journeys there saw me walk across a frozen lake, sleep in a ger in the Mongolian wilderness, trek through US National Parks and, ahem, be sick on the Great Wall of China. Or wear a truly horrific shirt somewhere in the middle of the Pacific.

Rather more exciting than eight hours on a plane deciding between chicken and beef or which film to watch.

As great a place as it is, New York barely features in the memories of those 90 days travelling overland from London – it was journey’s end and dominated by goodbyes and nights out with the friends who had shared those experiences.

That trip involved a mix of coach travel, train and, as the only way to complete the journey without flying, cruise ship. Sleeping was in hostels, hotels, sharing cabins on the Trans-Siberian or the ship and a bus converted for travelling through the night with camping for those who chose to abandon the refuge of the bus.

But overlanding takes in a wide range of styles, different operators and the demands of where you are travelling shape much of that – there is no tourist infrastructure in West Africa while the safari hotspots of the east are much more set up to offer a few comforts.

So while you may find yourself with the option of a bed, power, WiFi, a bar and hot shower (the ultimate wishlist of the overlander) and even a proper road in the east, you can go days without any of those down the west coast.

And that’s without mentioning toilets (we’ll keep that for another post that comes complete with a warning for any nervous reader).

Those basic conditions – camping wild wherever we could find, bereft of facilities, at the mercy of the elements and days without showers – were approached with trepidation on the 10-month Trans Africa adventure with Oasis Overland.

People even had the prospect of surviving on my cooking. Over an open fire. From what could be found on a limited budget in the local markets.

But from nervous starts, we embraced the delights of bush camping and began to look forward to them between the more luxurious (and that’s all relative) surroundings of the east.

And hey, if none of you have showered for days, you soon stop noticing the smell.

Those hardships have their rewards. The people you travel with, the people you meet along the way, the experiences which pop out of nowhere – these are the things that will come back to you and crop up whenever you reminisce with your travelling buddies.

And you still get the tourist trail attractions and cities others have taken the far less rewarding direct route to.

In September, will hop back on a big yellow Oasis truck for seven months around South America and the trip will be slightly different again – the balance between camping and hostels more even as a fresh continent throws up fresh challengers from Africa.

Between now and departure, will dig into overlanding in more depth – what to pack (and what not to pack), life on a truck, wild camping, overland cooking and anything else that springs to mind.

But will leave you with one last thought from somebody else.

Oasis Overland posted their own blog recently about what to pack and asked for comments on what people should pack and what should be left at home.

The answer that stuck with me came from an overland driver on what you don’t bring that is more important:

  • Detailed itineraries;
  • Expectations that it will be a holiday;
  • A piece of clothing or equipment you are not prepared to lose;
  • Rolling suitcases;
  • Beliefs that your views are more important/correct than others;
  • Western views on how other people in other cultures “should” live.
  • Leave those at home and you will have a fantastic time!

Think that pretty much sums up overlanding.

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Trans Africa – The Best and the Worst

BEST-LAID plans and organisation have a tendency to go by the wayside as soon as the real world intervenes (no matter how many  to-do lists you draw up).

The plan to write round-ups of the Trans Africa during the days following our return was overtaken by the small matter of work and, to be honest, a certain need to take a break from the blog and allow for a little bit of perspective from time.

But, finally, here’s the first of those wrap-up articles – it’s a long one, but it breaks down into bitesize chunks and could have been even longer. But we’ll get to that…

Best Moments

  1. 171Gorillas – The most expensive hour of my life, one of the muddiest and one of the best. Spending time in the presence of these magnificent creatures was a privilege. Even enjoyed the walk up and down the Rwandan mountain.
  2. Lake Bunyonyi Community – Another uphill hike that was more than worth it. An afternoon spent with the children of the orphanage, dancing, singing and playing games was exhilarating, humbling, tiring, utterly unforgettable and, when they launched into poems about losing their parents to AIDS, totally heartbreaking.
  3. Yodibikro – Totally unplanned, totally unrepeatable. When the search for a bush camp keeps taking you through rural villages in Cote D’Ivoire, eventually it leaves no option than to stop and ask to stay in one of them. The reception from the village, particularly the children, as a big yellow truck rolled up and the first white people most of them would have seen climbed out was extraordinary. Cooking spaghetti in a sweatbox with a huge crowd was not on the list of things to do, but sums up what overlanding is all about.
  4. 12144880_10153696941528872_7621071827808754893_nPuddle In The Congo – Spending a morning stood in a muddy puddle trying to free a stranded lorry full of stinking veg doesn’t sound like fun, but it was a remarkable few hours of working together, digging in and a fair amount of muddy water being thrown around.
  5. Good Shepherd Orphanage – “An experience… worth holding on to” was my blog description after the trip with Karla to revisit the orphanage outside Accra where she had volunteered three years earlier. Two offers of marriage, a great reception from the children and the delightful moment when one of the staff recognised Karla as we walked towards the kitchen. Coupled with a fair bit of frustration at how things are being run.
  6. Goats In Trees – It’s supposed to be a top five, but this had to be in there… Could easily have been a top 20, even 30 or more.

Worst Moments*

  1. Cellulitis, Pt 1 – It came on in a hurry in Lome, had me flat out as we crossed into Benin, curled up trying to sleep all afternoon by a supposedly very nice pool and spending the night on the floor of the truck. Thankfully, the sickness was gone in 24 hours – to be replaced by a swollen leg – but for a while there, on the back of our first malaria casualty, was convinced my trip was over. And never got the free rum Steve offered as a cure.
  2. Cellulitis, Pt 2 – Another border, another quick onset of sickness (and the other leg swelling), this time from DRC into Angola. More time flat on my back and my first IV line (bout three would bring my first local anaesthetic not in my mouth, first minor surgical procedure and first crutches – sort of – but that was as funny as it was painful), but worst moment was attempting not to throw up on an armed Angolan policeman who climbed on the back of the truck.
  3. PS Nige6First Night In Cameroon – Probably my closest point to losing it. Camping on a mud road in a rainstorm, last thing you want when heading for your tent is to find somebody has moved it, left the groundsheet in a puddle and the sides collapsed on themselves. Was not amused. Blame Canada.
  4. Pointe-Noire – Starting to struggle here, so let’s throw in being tossed about trying to get out of the waves at our beach hangout. Trapped in between some big breakers, just about managed to get my head above water each time before being sent back down again.
  5. Mt Cameroon – So Karla tells me. Some of us had more sense had had a lovely few days down at sea level.

Favourite Countries

No ratings in this one, just five contenders – unable to rate them. Been difficult to get them down to five in chronological order, but these were consistently the best (could have been Congo, but for the police extracting a ‘fine’ from us in Dolisie, could have been Nigeria, Cameroon, DRC, Malawi, Uganda, Egypt… any number of contenders).

  • SAM_0727Mali – A huge, very pleasant surprise that was only on the route due to having to dodge the Ebola zone. The chaos of Bamako comes very high on the list of places we stayed.
  • Namibia – At least one person would disagree, but loved both our stays there. Natural beauty, remote wilderness, civilisation (ish), (flip flop-loving) wildlife and some great food. With the added bonus of regular showers and beds, however many people were in the room.
  • South Africa – Knew more about the country than any other beforehand, but had no real idea just how beautiful it is, particularly the Western Cape. Not there long enough, putting it top of the list of places to go back to.
  • Zimbabwe – Fascinating and frustrating in equal measure. Natural riches highlighted a welcoming, proud nation completely messed up by mismanagement.
  • Rwanda – We were only there for three nights, but pretty much every moment was special. The gorillas were on another level, but seeing how a country has pulled itself up from the nightmare of genocide to a functioning, blossoming (if far from perfect) society – was compelling. The ten-pin bowling alley was typically, shambolically, charmingly African.

Least Favourite Countries

  • Mauritania – Unlucky to make the list, but it was tough to whittle it down to five. Really just drive through with not too much to see, but pleasant enough. Ali Baba’s burgers would have been nicer with a beer.
  • KW_Benin3Benin – Sure it was lovely, just saw next to none of it. Flat on my back for most of it, which is not the easiest thing on roads that bumpy.
  • Gabon – Nice scenery and a good day up front in the cab, but just didn’t quite hit the mark. Everything seemed to be more hassle than it was worth.
  • Zimbabwe – Yes, it is on the favourite list as well. But such is the state of the country under Mugabe amid the constant evidence of what it once was and could be, it is as frustrating as it is amazing.
  • Zambia – Making up the numbers a bit as we pretty much just drove through it and every other contender had more than enough highlights to lift it off this list and nearer to the top five. Could have been Morocco, partly due to the weather, but had enough high spots and we were still fresh to keep it out of the list.

Best Wildlife Experiences

If it’s been tough to find five for the list in some cases, this one has been difficult to cut down. So, here’s a top 10. My blog, my rules. No goats included.

  1. Gorillas – See above. Just the best day.
  2. MT Namibia5A cheetah ate my flip flop – Not every day you get up close to a big cat. Even rarer one of them starts licking your foot and chewing your flip flop. Thankfully, wasn’t the other way round.
  3. Antelope Park – Could probably have done a top five from the Zimbabwe site alone, walking with two young lions, seeing them fed, getting up close to their older brethren piling into a pile of meat, feeding an elephant and sitting having lunch as the elephants walked past (even the fruitless evening lion hunt).
  4. Ngorongoro Crater – Fulfilled a long-held ambition to visit the crater. A special place even without the animals, but the lions alone made it the highlight of our three-day Tanzanian excursion.
  5. Chobe River Cruise – A couple of hours out on the water at sunset, surrounded by wildlife highlights, to the extent that nobody was taking any notice of the elephants  just behind the hippos who stole the show
  6. First Morning at Etosha – Our first major run-in with a wide variety of big game when we hit Namibia. We had been warned the recent rain may have spread the animals out and make them difficult to see, but in the first couple of hours, we saw endless animals.
  7. IMG_4992Elephant Sands – “If you go to the loo in the middle of the night, before you get out of your tent, just shine your torch around to make sure there are no elephants between you and the toilets.” Up close – a bit closer than planned at one point – to wild elephants who wandered through our camp to the drinking hole where we whiled away the hours with a grandstand view.
  8. Lake Manyara – More elephants. Lots of them all around the vehicle and the road at the first part of our three-day safari. Not a bad way to spend my birthday.
  9. Serengeti – Probably the weakest part of our three-day excursion, but still threw up a leopard, lions and a night spent hearing them roar around camp. Not much traffic to the loo that night.
  10. First Elephants at Mole – Edging out the Cape Cross Seal Colony for 10th spot, the thrill of seeing our first elephants across a lake was unforgettable. A day that could have sucked arse, suddenly kicked ass. Cheers pal.

Most Extreme Conditions

  1. SS13Sudan (with a hint of Egypt) – Hot, dry, sandy. And you can insert the word very in front of each one. Up above 50ºC for large chunks – and not all that cooler at night. Told Luxor experienced its second hottest recorded day while we were there. Walking to Karnak Temple in the midday sun.
  2. Sesriem – All seemed so calm when we went to bed, but at some point in the night the wind started to whip up and just kept getting stronger. Anyone on their own in a tent could not get out for fear of it blowing back to South Africa, while even having two people didn’t guarantee it staying put.
  3. Morocco – Wet, very wet. We were lucky, people died in the wettest spell the country has had for decades (the flooded river drew crowds onto the bridges in Marrakesh) while the truck a few days behind us got stuck in the Atlas Mountains. We had our own dramas, riding out a night on the mountainside in a storm, digging ourselves out of the slop when Nala sunk and managing to cross some swollen rivers as the rain in.
  4. Nigeria – Hot. For day after day after day. Maybe not as hot and inescapable as Sudan, but sitting on the border for more than two days was like being in an oven, bar one brief, wonderful shower. Literally. Needed several long, cold drinks.
  5. Chimanamani – The tan, the shorts, the flip-flops suggests Africa lived up to most people’s preconceptions weather wise. But we were, for the large part, in the southern hemisphere heading into winter. For the large part – bar in the wind at the back of the truck when the hoodie was never far away – it was fine during the day, but as soon as the sun went down, it could get cold. Never more than in Zimbabwe, especially when the altitude went up. Tucked up under a sleeping bag and rug, my little nest was fine, but some retreated to the sofas by the fire in the bar – not sure Michael left his spot the entire time we were there.

Scariest Moments

There was one thing everybody seemed convinced about before we left (apart from the fact we were going to get eaten by lions) – at some point we were going to run into some serious issues, possibly involving locals with guns. But tricky moments were few and far between, to the extent that it has been very difficult to find five entries for this list. In fact, was hard to find three, let alone five.

  1. IMG_5119
    Our taxi driver

    Bulawayo – Ride home with a local as the bar we had been in for 10 hours closed and it became clear no taxi was coming (or probably knew where it was). At breakneck speed and largely on the wrong side of the road.

  2. Ouidah – Onset of cellulitis (part one). See above.
  3. Pointe-Noire – Trying to get out of the sea. See above
  4. Road to Abuja – Mildly concerning for me, probably terrifying for Linda. The first bounce at the back of the truck had us moving, the second had some of us getting serious hang time – thankfully just enough time to pick a landing spot that was not right on top of Linda.
  5. Afi Mountains – Bit of a concern more than really frightening, but when a bunch of young local “vigilantes” under the influence start making threats and trying to “trash” our tents late at night in an isolated village, it does occupy the mind. Perceived threat lessened when we realised we outnumbered them and their phone calls for reinforcements were being made with no signal. And without the phone being on.

Best Bush Camps

One of the defining characteristics of Oasis trips, spending the night completely without facilities (bar some bushes and a shovel) at some previously discovered point or wherever we could find. Approached with trepidation before the trip, became one of the highlights and came with its own bedtime.

Honourable mentions for our home in the woods outside Rabat (anywhere with soft ground earned plenty of bonus points), amid the rocks of Spitzkoppe, the dried river bed near Henties Bay, the rain forest clearing in Gabon and any number of quarries. The Nile felucca doesn’t quite fit here (or anyone else to be honest), but deserves a mention.

  1. KW_WS6Sand Dune – The most stunning place to spend the night in the shadow of a giant dune in the Western Sahara. Would have been a stunning stop if it was a mere detour from the road, climbing the dune and watching the camels wander by, let alone the belated realisation it was our home for the night.
  2. Brandberg Mountains – Close for top spot and picturesque enough to draw a healthy contingent out of bed early to climb the rocks and watch the sun come up. Enough to drive people to song.
  3. Meroe Pyramids – Another spot that drew almost everyone up the slope above Nala to take in the glorious surroundings. Throw in the pyramids and the local camel herders touting for a few passengers and it was another example of the unheralded places which make this trip so special.
  4. 393Volubilis – An early one – way back in Morocco and the first bush camp we just stumbled across – and maybe a bit of a surprise, but probably the one that convinced any sceptics that bush camps were to be savoured. In a glorious spot among the olive trees, overlooking the valley and a wonderful sunset, it also brought a couple of locals out to chat, sell us loves, help with the fire, share our food and vote for the first winner of Malcolm the Monkey.
  5. In Western Sahara Dunes – Night before the giant sand dune she spent the night surrounded by smaller ones. Lovely spot after a long day on the road and a notable change of mood as the first totally warm, dry night as we emerged from the damp of Morocco.

Best Campsites

  1. HighlandersHighlanders – So good, we went back. Our first (and last) taste of South Africa in a stunning terraced setting overlooking a valley of vineyards. Wine tasting (with repercussions), a pool, a great bar (more repercussions), a lovely meal from the staff, good toilets and a mad dog. Wonderful place.
  2. Zebra Bar – It could have been a contender if it had just offered the most welcome cold beer after the deprivations of southern Morocco and Mauritania. Throw in a stunning location on the banks of an estuary, hot showers and a bar that allowed us to just help ourselves and you’ve got overlander heaven. With added monkey.
  3. Felix Unite – An unplanned stop before leaving Namibia and certainly very welcome. Great setting on the banks of the Orange River, fantastic pool, terrific bar, lovely soft grass and top showers, probably the most luxurious campsite of the trip. Yep, that’s why we remember it. Some people nearly got swept away with excitement.
  4. Hilali Camp – Namibia quickly assumed a mythical status as we headed down the west side, the place where we would find all the stuff we had been missing. Hilali, our base for the night on our first trip to Etosha National Park, gave us a pool, hot showers (which got everybody a bit over-excited) and an evening watching the wildlife around the watering hole.
  5. Kande Beach – Tough choice for the fifth spot, but Kande Beach edges the vote. A riotous night that may, or may not, have involved me dancing on the bar.

Best Places We Stayed

Anywhere we spent the night which doesn’t necessarily involve a campsite, but is some form of organised accommodation. Top five are not necessarily the most luxurious places we stayed, but for one reason or another, the most memorable (and welcome).

  1. Big Milly’s Backyard, Kokrobite – My first bed for 66 days, complete with a (very popular) shower. Was supposed to be just for a couple of nights, but stayed put for both of our stays. Throw in a bar, restaurant (even with a very relaxed attitude to quick service), occasional live entertainment and even a sweet shop, it became our home from home for the best part of two weeks.
  2. HV8Brasserie De La Mer, Pointe-Noire – On the back of around 10 days without a shower (and on the heels of some less than savoury treatment by the Congolese officials), we would have taken pretty much welcomed anywhere that had running water and somewhere reasonably comfortable to lay our heads. We found camping on the beach, a great bar (once you could get served) with decent food and some thunderous surf.
  3. Nile Valley Hotel, Luxor – Air conditioning in a room right next to the pool (not close enough to stop burning your feet en route, such was the heat), a bar, restaurant and staff who were determined to be as helpful as possible. All on the banks of the Nile with ready access to some of Egypt’s greatest historic sights. And donkeys.
  4. Amanpuri Lodge, Swakopmund – Not the most luxurious with most of us sharing the same dorm. But again, it came on the end of a long stretch without too many facilities and marked our real arrival in southern Africa. Also brought our first contact with fellow overlanders. Some more than others.
  5. Train from Victoria Falls to Bulawayo – Certainly not luxurious and with precious few facilities (and what there was did not work). And for Karla, not the quietest night. But certainly one of the most charming and interesting travel experiences – mixed with the usual frustrations of doing anything in Zimbabwe.

Worst Places We Stayed

  1. Palm Springs Motel, Turbo – Considering how many nights we spent in bush camps, it is perhaps strange that a night spent in a bed tops this list. But paying $5 for that cell was too much (even if Michael actually paid), it was cold, wet and my mood matched the weather. Just about my lowest point before the delights of Lake Bunyonyi and Rwanda re-energised me for the final push.
  2. KW_Cam6First Night in Cameroon – Considering the euphoria of crossing the border, the loss of sense of humour in the downpour at camp on an old, mud road was extreme and total (see Worst Moments). Mood cleared quickly with the weather and still a night to look back on and smile – events in a puddle, naked Asians and the immortal line “You are not coming in here without any clothes on”.
  3. Atlas Mountains – Our first extreme conditions. Moved by police halfway up a mountain to a hotel car park for our own safety, we found ourselves battling the storm to put up our tents and woke to find ourselves in the middle of a small pond. Again, the wet, miserable mood quickly disappeared as the hotel owners took pity with some warming drinks and heaters before we headed off on one of the most dramatic, wettest and enjoyable drive days of the trip through the mountains to Marrakesh. With non-stop Eminem.
  4. Sheraton Hotel – Would appear high on any list of best toilets and, if we’d had the money to spend in there, possibly the swishest bar of anywhere we stayed. There was even hot showers and where we camped was perfectly comfortable. But they clearly didn’t want us there and that came across right clearly, despite the efforts of one security guard to make our brief stay as memorable as possible.
  5. Cameroon – Not having a go at an entire country, it was not far off my top five list. But after that opening night, we didn’t have much luck with bush camps. The next night we rolled in after dark and pitched our tents on the side of a school football pitch, only to be moved on to the paddock outside a police station. Perfectly fine spot, but putting tents up and down in quick succession was too much for my back – had to call on Tent Whisperer Linda and Ale (who had Martha to do her tent) for help. Another night saw us trying to find a gap between the puddles and piles of rubbish to pitch our tents.

Most Memorable Borders

  1. MfumNigeria-Cameroon – More time than the rest of the borders put together. Probably. After six days holed up in Calabar looking for ways through a closed border, we chanced our arm and just turned up. After 56 hours of camping on the roadside, showering in the rain, being served drinks by a schoolboy and befriending the locals, somebody finally took pity on us and let us through. Sounds an ordeal, but was great fun.
  2. Mauritania-Senegal – The border itself was quick, they wanted to pack up and go home as much as we wanted to get through and reach our first beers for the best part of two weeks. Getting there was the fun part as Steve managed to get us stuck off the side of the road and in need of a tow as the clock ticked to the border closing and those beers looked increasingly far away.
  3. Sudan-Egypt – It was hot, it was sandy, it was unpleasant, right up to the point where they ushered us to the front of the queue and into an air-conditioned waiting room and on again to a cafe to wait for the truck to pass immigration. Even more notable for being the first Trans Africa to cross via the new land border, rather than a lengthy boat trip with no guarantee us and Nala would arrive anything like together.
  4. Cabinda (Angola)-DRC – Relatively, surprisingly, smooth. Notable for the sudden, dramatic change as the tarmac roads from the prosperous Cabinda ended at a rope strung across the road, to be replaced immediately by a mud track in the rather less wealthy DRC. Second border in a day after…
  5. Congo-Cabinda – We were only in the Angolan exclave of Cabinda  for a few hours, but it caused any number of problems and delays as it meant a double entry visa nobody seemed able to give us. When we got there, we were welcomed into the modern office by a friendly border official and allowed to use their toilets – once all our details had been copied out into a traditional ledger.

Favourite Food

There were complaints about the food (one person in particular writing about his displeasure with anyone’s cooking bar his own haute cuisine that nobody else can actually remember), but on the whole it was not bad. It could get a bit repetitive, but that’s overlandning. My diet was probably the best it has been for years and led to four inches off the waistline.

Honourable mention to any number of street stalls which have been forgotten and the pancakes and Morrocan tea in Casablanca (more memorable than the place itself).

  1. Kudu steaks – Any guilt which may have been felt by digging in to one of the game we had been spotting was soon swept away by the fact it was just terrific. Went back to the same place for the same thing.
  2. IMG_0332Warthog ribs – They had received a big build-up which could have set us up for disappointment. No worries there, absolutely gorgeous.
  3. Meat on a stick – Still reckon there is a market for lumps of meat served up on a stick for a few pennies back home. The ultimate in fast food – just don’t take too much attention to the conditions they are being cooked in.
  4. Pies – There were times we should have been sightseeing. Or at the very least shopping for something more practical. But when you’ve had a few days of nothing but veg and eggs, you can be excused for making a beeline for the pies every time we rolled into a supermarket.
  5. Anything not involving eggs – Yes, they are easy to buy on a limited budget and allow you to do a variety of things. But when every cook group has come to the same conclusion – culminating in one group spending their entire budget on 159 eggs – enough is enough.

Best Purchases

  1. SAM_0635Rug – Potentially fell into a total tourist trap in the Fes Medina, but was undoubtedly a great buy. On top of my mattress, helped create a comfy bed; when it got cold, went over opened-up sleeping bag to build a snuggly nest; when it got hot in Sudan, kept the worst of the heat from the floor out (as well as cutting down the impact of a deflating bed). And will come in useful when finally have somewhere more permanent to live.
  2. Flip Flops – Took a while to be converted, but once my sandals gave way in Namibia, it did not take long for them to become de rigeur (after a while trying to find a pair big enough). Not that the first pair stayed in one piece for a while, courtesy of a cheetah. Thanks to Kris for keeping the replacements coming.
  3. Shorts – Part of the revamped wardrobe in Cape Town. Much relief to me and everybody else to find a pair of trousers which did not keep falling down constantly (although even these were by the end).
  4. Canvas Bag – From a market in, if memory serves me right, Tanzania. Should have done it much earlier. Sounds simple, but just having something to carry and store my bedding in made life much easier (after a string of torn plastic bags). Still crammed full of stuff.
  5. Gloves – Only used once and a bit of a cheat as bought before departure – the last thing purchased. But the advice to get some gardening gloves for the trek to see the gorillas (cheers Stephen) was spot on. Cut down on the stings from the nettles, even if they got so caked in mud they were immediately consigned to the bin.

Did consider a worst purchase list, but was lucky it would have been tricky to get up to five (was not my camera’s fault that it slid off the bar and broke the night before we went into the Serengeti, having only bought it in Cape Town).

Undoubted winner, the cheap tray of Celtia beer which was just about drinkable if you downed it in one while ice cold, before it warmed up slightly. Remains ended in a bin at a truck clean in South Africa, along with my pillow, bought in Morocco but started to look a bit of a health risk.

  • Tough one as, illness apart, there were not that many. Low points were usually down to tiredness or a need to just get away for a short while, so this took some thinking about.
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